10 Feelings That Alternate in My Mind As I Live With ME/CFS

Lonely

 

By  in The Mighty.

 

For someone in reasonable health, it can be hard to understand what a loved one is going through if they are struggling with some kind of ongoing health issue. It’s especially tough for everyone if the illness is one which is unseen, as in, no obvious signs of the illness – like how you can see a broken bone in an X-ray or a result in a blood test.

I have a chronic illness and below is a list of things I feel on an alternating basis – hopefully this gives you some insight into what could be going on in the mind of someone you know with some health challenges. Or, if you’re struggling yourself, hopefully you recognize some of these and know that you’re definitely not alone.

1. Guilty. This is the most common feeling. I feel like such a burden to those around me. With regard to work, initially I felt particularly bad for my colleagues who had to pick up my work when I left. I’m on indefinite sick leave and now when I think of work, I feel awful that they have this sick person in the background they have to keep considering. And when it comes to my everyday life I can’t just walk the dog or do the vacuuming. My husband has to do a lot of the heavy lifting in our lives, including being the sole income earner. Guilt! I also need people to drive me to appointments which I feel awful about because I can’t even drive myself anywhere…more guilt. I know if the shoe was on the other foot I’d hate it if the person needing my help felt guilty, but hey, I can’t help feeling like a burden when my contributions feel so limited.

 

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