Dealing With Anger Now That I Have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

 

Anger

 

By Jamison Hill in The Mighty.

 

I love to break things. Yeah, I know, who doesn’t? But I get such a satisfying feeling when I break something. Maybe not a bone, or a really expensive gadget, but breaking something cheap and discardable is satisfying to me. Very satisfying!

In 2011, after I was sick for a year, but had yet to learn much about myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), I remember being so incredibly angry — angry about the uncertainty of my health, angry that I had an invisible disease only I could see. At least back then I had some energy I could use to unleash my anger. I broke ceramic plates and cups, wood cutting boards, and on one occasion, I even destroyed two pumpkins and a ridiculously large zucchini my neighbor gave me. My buddy, Thomas, and I took our baseball bats to the backyard and pitched the giant produce to each other. Soon pumpkin guts were flying everywhere including at my face. It was fun and cathartic. I haven’t experienced such catharsis since.

 

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