Developing Chronic Fatigue Taught Me To Live In The Moment

chronic

 

By Chloe Cooper in Voices.

 

In early January 2019, I was doing what I do every year – reviewing my achievements of the past 12 months and setting my goals for the year to come. Like countless others who go through the same process, this felt like an essential step to becoming the person I felt I was destined to be.

I wanted to achieve and keep achieving so that I could keep up with my peers who endlessly chronicled their wins on social media. I felt that if I did not constantly achieve, then I would fall behind and, soon, I would become no one. So I continued to chase the high of ticking boxes in the hopes of holding back obscurity, and when those boxes were ticked I simply added more.

The years leading up to 2019 had been difficult for me. I had left my life in Australia behind to start a new one in London, had been called back home unexpectedly by the sudden death of my brother, and ended up staying because of the unbearable sadness of my family. I had repeatedly failed to find work in my field and was picking up scraps wherever I could to keep afloat. In short, I was forced to completely reevaluate my life and start again from scratch.

Fast forward to early 2019 and things were looking good for me. I had almost finished a university degree and was working a job I loved. I had finally found direction for my future and I pursued it with renewed vigour – I was making steps towards achieving my dreams. What I expected was a year filled with small wins that would lead me further down my chosen path. What I wasn’t expecting was to have to reevaluate my life again so quickly after the last time.

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Link to Chronic Illness story

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