Holidays And ME

Holidays And ME

 

It seems so weird to need a break

“You’re on a constant one for goodness sake”

So with these words sunk to the hilt

I book it up, so full of guilt.

 

I need a rest just from the packing

Lots of breaks as energy’s lacking

Just the thought of the journey ahead

Fills me with apprehensive dread

 

Off we go, a bit of a drive

And no, it isn’t just a skive

That I am just a passenger now

Not just in life, but even somehow

With something I used to find relaxing

To just drive now is much too taxing

 

Trying to find the departure gate

Hoping we don’t arrive too late

Airport assistance helps in part

Though training seems a dying art

Pushed along at breakneck speed

Sensory overload I didn’t need

 

So much hustle, lights and noise

Shoved along like a wheelie toy

If I didn’t need a break before

Now I would, but so much more

 

The journey, flight and bus are wearing

People gawping, people staring

It’s a wheelchair folks, no news here

It’s called ME, no need to sneer

 

Off the bus, hotel arrival

Needing kip to aid survival

Didn’t sleep well, easy to tell

Still kitten weak, so tough to speak

 

Breakfast taken inside with clatter

Noises from spoons and cups and chatter

Everything’s bright and oh so cheery

Why do I feel so bleedin’ weary

 

Sunbeds being scraped along

Pierce my head like the devil’s song

Kids are screaming, with holiday feeling

Not sure I’m gonna last too long

 

No extra vitamin D required

The sun is out but still so tired

Why’s my head being so tested

When a normal bod would be feeling rested.

 

Tried to have some grown up chat

Talking about nothing, just this and that

Was asked my name which I couldn’t find

It’s somewhere hidden in the back of my mind.

 

What made it all funnier still

Was that he introduced himself as Bill

My name too, lost in my head

But I stumbled, came out with rubbish instead

 

Tried to read some chapter four

I’m sure I’ve seen these lines before

Blankly staring at the written word

Made no sense, just so absurd

 

Might as well be reading Will ‘Speare’

It’s a comedy of errors going on here

I’ve supposed to be switching off

But to read a book is so damn tough

 

Senses still on overload

Always locked in Meerkat mode

Just the merest distant sound

Gets my head spinning round

 

Doing nothing is what’s needed

But good advice is seldom heeded

Pushing against a door marked pull

Frustration builds, feel like a fool.

 

 

So glad to get back home for a break

From the ‘resting’ that I tried to take

Maybe next year just switch off the phone

And have a holiday here at home.

 

I accept that I’m a ‘lucky’ one

Well enough to seek some sun

Plenty others cannot travel

I know so many, their lives unravelled

 

They’d love the chance to just leave home

Love to be fit enough to roam

Instead trapped within four walls

A prison where no daylight falls

 

This illness creates a smaller world

Where nobody wants to go

Too many cases

Going to real dark places

And laying them all so low

 

We need a holiday from ME

It’s just not who we want to be

We don’t deserve these many scars

More than the sky has shining stars

 

So here’s to the day

We can all get away

Health restored and feeling fit

But we must endure

Till they find us a cure

So those in power, please commit

 

No more dismissing

Those Millions who’re Missing

We need some serious care

To those running our nation

We’re tired of staycation

We’ll keep on shouting, so beware.

 

Bill Clayton

© March 2019

The York ME Community © 2015
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