From the ‘This Thing They Call Recovery’ Blog by Jenny.
Sickness is scary, end of. It’s something that you carry with you, you can’t just leave it at home and forget that it’s there. If I’m being honest, my own body scares me a bit. I don’t feel safe in my own skin.
Your body is your home for the rest of your life, it’s the only one you’ve got. If it protects you from harm and keeps you safe, you should love it unconditionally. No matter if you think it’s too small, or too big, too anything – you should love it anyway.
I’ve got a complicated relationship with mine. It causes me so much pain, separation from others, and has forced me to give up things that I love. But it also fights for me every single day. I shouldn’t have survived past birth really, the state that I was in. But I did. It will never cease to amaze me the fight that sick babies have inside them. They have no idea what life can be, they don’t know what they’re fighting for – and yet they do it anyway.
Because something inside them tells them that they should. It’s a strange feeling having your past self be your current motivation. I don’t remember putting up that fight, and yet the fact that I did is the driving force that tells me to keep going. As the saying goes – I didn’t come this far to only come this far. But then again, what if this is as far as I get? What if this is the limit, what if I’m already standing in the light at the end of the tunnel? I’ve come a long way since those days in that incubator, this should be enough right?
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