By Kirsty Hird in The Mighty.
Let me start by saying that I am not, and never have been, a “crier.” OK, so I cry at funerals (but try my best to hide the tears from everyone except my husband) but other than that, I don’t generally cry. In my previous, pre-mylagic encephalomyelitis job, I had a reputation amongst my colleagues for being “dead on the inside” (said with love, obviously). I even managed to get through two pregnancies with my tear ducts relatively unaffected (apart from sobbing in front of “ET” three weeks before my due date with baby number 1).
So why can’t I stop crying?!
At the time of writing I’ve had undiagnosed ME symptoms for just over 10 months, thinking it was just a ridiculously long recovery from the bout of pneumonia I had at the end of last year. For the last couple of months I’ve become very tearful, beyond the usual “Why do I hurt so much? Why can’t I breathe properly? Why isn’t it getting better?” frustrations. In particular, I’ve cried because I feel so mentally overwhelmed by things that I would “normally” take in stride. (Since my diagnosis and the swathes of internet research I’ve subsequently waded through, I’ve come to realize that these feelings of being “mentally overwhelmed” are yet another symptom of ME — my version of the “brain fog” so many people describe.) In fact, I’ve cried so frequently over the last few months that the “puppies on a roll” are running out so rapidly, I may well have just invented a new category for Crufts!
Here are some prime examples:
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