Fog And M.E.

Fog And M.E.

In a car when fog descends
Lights go on to see the bends
Other dangers illuminated
A flick of a switch, clarity created

An M.E. fog is not the same
It wraps around our words, our brain
There is no switch, no helpful light
Just confusion, loneliness and fright

An M.E. symptom so hard to explain
Just one of the many, causing a drain
It’s a heavy, claustrophobic fog
Head stuck inside a muddy bog

To start a story full of fun
Then stumble as soon as I’ve begun
Not knowing what I was about to say
Those elusive words have gone away

I’d line up the words I was going to use
Nice and easy so as not to confuse
Just putting all my ducks in a row
Clear how the chat is going to go

Then someone talks or interrupts
My head fogs up, words corrupt
Incoming sounds blocking my thoughts
I’m just unable to re-join the dots

The mist that descends, confuses friends
They don’t understand, and just stare
As we can’t find the words, just so absurd
They’re just no longer there

I now just keep my stories short
Or just don’t start to tell
Now I can see, how this blasted M.E.
Backs me further into my shell

One really major frustration
Across the whole of the M.E. nation
Is forgetting what you’ve done or said
Repeating yourself a constant dread
Saying what you’ve said before
Oh for a trapdoor in the floor

Afraid of saying anything much at all
Caught in the glare, feeling oh so small
Repeating something three times already
Confidence knocked, me dot org, unsteady

I need a walking stick for my mind
Now that words are so hard to find
Some aid that helps me look a little sane
When somehow forgetting my best friend’s name

The fog comes down when I’m not ready
Words coming at me like blown confetti
As if they’re spoken in a foreign tongue
Not understanding a single one

I know when someone’s talking
I know when it’s to me
But just what they’re saying
The fog is delaying
It’s all just lost at sea

My head is just so bereft
Of simple words, there’s been a theft
I now keep notes of things I’ve done,
People that I’ve met or rung
So then when asked about my day
My actions don’t just slip away

Reading instructions make me mad
Some days good some days bad
Something that should be done in a breeze
Is no longer understood with ease

Forgetting again to take the meds
Why does this go out of our heads
Despite an alarm set to remind
Within seconds it’s gone right out of my mind

If some of these lines sound familiar
If you’re going through something similar
If you dread the ringing of the phone
Be assured, you’re not in this alone

The fog makes us all recede
Into a life we don’t want to lead
Wary of any conversation
In case of a mental aberration

There’s a fear of being lost in this ME fog
As life can be a continual slog
Taking on the rough with the rough
But remember we’re made of sterner stuff

Next time there’s a threat of a real pea souper
Please don’t try and be a trooper
Pull over and rest that fraggled mind
Just for a change, to yourself be kind.

By Bill Clayton

The York ME Community © 2015
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