Sometimes I feel like I am lost, not as in aimlessly wandering and off the track, but as in missing and can’t be found. But I am here, under blankets.
Much of the time I can usually be found under an actual blanket on the couch or in my bed. Most of the time I am under the metaphorical blanket cloud of myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS). It is hard to see me and to truly know me because I feel like this thing is covering me and sometimes changing who I am. I would like people to see me as social, outgoing, helpful, reliable, energetic, funny, spontaneous and always up for an adventure.
It used to be easier to see those things, for people to see me and know what kind of person I am. It’s a bit harder for people to see the real me now, they might see it in bits and pieces every now and then, but stick around long enough and you will also see the crash. The fever, nausea, pain and sheer exhaustion as I crawl back under a blanket and wait for the fatigue to pass or to lift for another few moments so I can go back to trying to be me.
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