When You Can’t Stop Mourning The Person You Were Before Chronic Illness

Chronic

By Jamie Janinski in The Mighty.

 

Four years ago, I went to my doctor complaining of excessive tiredness and having so much pain in my hands that I couldn’t squeeze my shampoo bottle while showering. Four years ago, I received a call telling me I needed to see a rheumatologist right away because my blood work came back extremely abnormal in the autoimmune area. I can remember the exact emotions I felt in that moment on the phone and how scared I was, and I can remember the fear I felt the day upon receiving my diagnoses. While I knew that rheumatoid arthritis and Sjögren’s were bad, I didn’t know that they would be life-altering.

 

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